Saturday, October 23, 2010

Crushed

Thats how I feel. Crushed. I don't understand how people have no compassion for the things other people do or go through.

After my wonderful trip to New York, and leaving the RE's office, thinking that everything was a go, I recieved a call Thursday afternoon that just totally crushed me. I don't understand how they lead someone on, and don't even think twice about it. They decided that they won't work with me, because of my weight. I just don't understand why they didn't say that 3 months ago, when all this started. Its just not fair. Its not fair to my IM and its not fair to me. Her and I have grown so close and we had so many things planned out in our heads. We talked on the phone all the time. Its just not fair. I am heartbroken for her, because she is now back to starting over at square one. They knew all of this info while I was there, and had no issues with things. They knew before I came, and they had even told me that I would be back in just a few short weeks. Why did they not say anything when I was there? It makes no sense to me. I just don't understand it.

All I can do is sit here and try to think of how I can make this still happen. I can't change how much I weigh over night. Sure, give me a few months and I can... but we had plans, that are all now ruined. I feel so bad for my IM, and so lost that this dream, which was finally coming true has been dashed. I feel like we are being lied to, and that there are other reasons, that they aren't telling me.

I am going to try and get through the weekend and then call, once all my thoughts are together and talk to my IM about things, and see what she really thinks. I am just lost. Dreams were taken away just like that, with no consideration for anyones feelings and it sucks.

1 comment:

  1. That is totally crappy of them... It's almost like they just wanted the extra money blown on everything. I feel bad for both you and her too... I know how high hopes were on both parts!!!

    Have you heard anymore since?

    I wished you lived closer so we could hit the gym together! I will try my best to help where I can so that maybe things can still happen the way they were supposed to!

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