Monday, November 15, 2010

I should be....

I should be in NY this week, getting pregnant. I should be spending time with my IM as we prepare for a transfer and enjoy this time of excitement and being nervousness. I am sad. Sad that this week has come and gone, and nothing has come of it. Sad that I am sitting at home today thinking that a month from now, I could have been giving this wonderful lady the best news of her life, telling her I was pregnany with her baby. Instead I sit here with an empty heart and an empty uterus.

I hope that where ever my IM is tonight, she knows that she is in my thoughts and prayers, and I hope that God brings her amazing things in her future. She is such a special lady and I really hope that she is able to become a mother through this journey. I know it works, I have seen it work, and although I haven't give up on my dreams of helping someone, I think I needed to get through this month and past this date that they had said in my head, to feel the pain and the loss of this journey.

"M" will always hold a very special place in my heart and I hope that someday I see a picture of her holding her sweet baby!

1 comment:

  1. :( I wish things turned out differently for ya! I know you would have loved to do this special thing for that special lady!

    Something in the back of my mind is always whispering though that things happen for a reason. Not sure yet what the reason is... but something may come clearer to both of us soon. Who knows.

    Life always has weird ways of working... but I wish your IM the best of luck too! And I hope that... if not you... then someone gets to help make her dream come true!