Friday, May 11, 2012


1616.8 was my second BETA number...

Things are moving in the right direction, up- the number should double every 48 ish hours and my number almost tripled!  I am couldn't have been happier to get that result back!  This has been a good week.  Things are moving forward and after the journey I have had to get to this place with a failed match, a surgery, a failed transfer, I finally feel strangly at ease with where things are. 

Don't get me wrong, I am nervous, this isn't my baby and its not my life in the palm of my hands, I am carry a baby for someone else- letting someone else's baby rest inside me until its safe for him/her to live in the world and although I couldn't be more excited for this, its also scary.  I guess maybe I feel like i put more pressure on myself to make sure that everything is perfect.. Its one thing to mess up your own kids, but to mess up someone else's baby...  I am sure you know what I mean.  During my own pregnancies vitamins were something that at some point I just didn't do anymore.  With this baby, I freak out if I think I am going to miss taking them!  

I want to give J and M, the baby that their hearts and arms long for.  I cant wait to hear/see the looks on their faces when they hear the heartbeat for the first time, see their baby on the U/S, feel their baby kick for the first time, and in the end hear that baby cry for the first time and hold him/her in their arms, kissing and loving this precious baby.

I am happy... I know that I will continue to worry about each upcoming appt and milestone, but this has been one of the best weeks of my life!  :)


  1. Just catching up on your journey thus far. Phew! Girl, you've been through a lot! I'm so glad that things are working out for you and I wanted to offer a great big congratulations to you on some pretty amazing beta numbers! Can't wait for the ultrasound!

  2. Thank you- its really been a journey to give here and I am so happy to finally be in this place!!