1616.8 was my second BETA number...
Things are moving in the right direction, up- the number should double every 48 ish hours and my number almost tripled! I am couldn't have been happier to get that result back! This has been a good week. Things are moving forward and after the journey I have had to get to this place with a failed match, a surgery, a failed transfer, I finally feel strangly at ease with where things are.
Don't get me wrong, I am nervous, this isn't my baby and its not my life in the palm of my hands, I am carry a baby for someone else- letting someone else's baby rest inside me until its safe for him/her to live in the world and although I couldn't be more excited for this, its also scary. I guess maybe I feel like i put more pressure on myself to make sure that everything is perfect.. Its one thing to mess up your own kids, but to mess up someone else's baby... I am sure you know what I mean. During my own pregnancies vitamins were something that at some point I just didn't do anymore. With this baby, I freak out if I think I am going to miss taking them!
I want to give J and M, the baby that their hearts and arms long for. I cant wait to hear/see the looks on their faces when they hear the heartbeat for the first time, see their baby on the U/S, feel their baby kick for the first time, and in the end hear that baby cry for the first time and hold him/her in their arms, kissing and loving this precious baby.
I am happy... I know that I will continue to worry about each upcoming appt and milestone, but this has been one of the best weeks of my life! :)
7 years missing you !
2 years ago