That's really what this has been. Up and Down. This journey has been that way- from the very start, and I guess when you haven't been through it before you really don't know what to expect, I read blogs and researched but I don't think anything can prepare you for the feelings you feel as you try to bring a baby(ies) into the world for another couple. I am blessed with amazing IP's who have been so supportive and understanding and sweet. They are wonderful. The pressure I feel is something I think I place on myself, because I want so badly for things to just chug along perfectly like they did in my own pregnancies! Truth is, no pregnancy is guaranteed to be prefect, weather it was for me or for someone else, and I just have to come to terms with that accept that, pregnancy is just always ups and downs... I have seen my friends struggle with their own pregnancies and they have done everything they could to have that perfect baby they want so badly with a perfect pregnancy!
So- lets see..the downs... I failed I failed my one hour glucose test, which meant I had to have the three hour test done. This week my cervical length also changed. The Dr said it was kind of sporadic and went as low as 1.1-1.9, it has been stable at a 2. The change meant I under went the fFN test yesterday afternoon.
And... the Up's! I passed the 3 hours test, the Dr said that my numbers were great! So glad that I don't have that to worry about, my BP has also been very stable and good. The fFN test came back negative- which means that the risk of me going into labor in the next two weeks is less than 1%. Another huge win.
I was prepared for the worst, a positive fFN, would have meant checking into labor and delivery last night and being monitored for contractions as well as the shots of steroids for the babies lungs. I was sad at the thought of missing my daughters 10th birthday today.
I am also really thankful for my wonderful OB he has my best interest at heart and is so wonderful. He called me first thing this morning and said that he was thinking about me last night and wants me to start on Procardia, it will quiet down any action in the uterus. Its possible that I am having some slight contractions that I am not feeling and that maybe the cause of the cervical change. He said that at this point he is very certain I am going to end up on it at some point anyways, so starting off on a small dose instead of having to jump into a higher dose when the time comes will allow my body to adjust to the meds. I was so happy when he called - first that he cared enough to be thinking about me last night after my appt- and second that he is on top of things and really is just great at what he does!
So- that's been the past few weeks for me, just kind of up and down. Its really hard to lay around all day when I feel perfectly fine, but the more laying around the better, so that's the plan for me. I just am going to take it easy and try to be easier on myself. I tend to be harder on myself than need be!
7 years missing you !
2 years ago