Sunday, March 31, 2013

No Use Crying...

Over Spilled Milk???

Whoever invented that saying was obviously a man... A man who must not have had a wife who was pumping or nursing a baby!

Why?

You want to know what I think that!?  Its a really good question that goes something like this.... Today- on Easter of all days, as I am pumping for my surro twins just enjoying life- nothing really crazy going on...

Then I get up to put the milk away and clean the pump parts and that's when it happens, yup- I drop that 2.5 oz bottle with fresh pumped baby milk in it- and sure as the world the lid pops off and out goes that hard work- all over my floor-  Now I know you are thinking that I am crazy, I mean its only 2.5 oz of milk...Give me a break!  First of all for me 2.5 oz of milk is 1/2 of what I pump in each sitting.  You see I am not a great pumper. It takes a lot of time and I feel like a lot of energy!    Needless to say I was pretty upset!

Lets fast forward about 12 hours and I am finished pumping, getting up to go put things away and you know what happens... Sure as the world- we repeat my morning pumping session all over again!  Only this bottle was filled to the top- because I had already not been paying attention when I pumped and it had over flowed, so I have no wasted about 5-5.5 oz of milk today!  Are you kidding me...

By this time I just want to throw myself on the floor crying and stomp my feet. I send about 20-25 oz of milk a day and when I waste 1/4th of that I just get so upset with myself! 

I don't know how I will recover the day of wasted milk to have enough to send today...

Now you know-- that although it doesn't do me any good to cry over the spilled milk, I still will cry- use every bad word I can think of throw a fit when I spill milk that is meant for babies!  I never had this issue with my own babies- since I nursed them, these bottles might be the death of me...

Monday, March 4, 2013

My life is changed...

Two months ago- my life was changed forever.  Sure I had been preparing for this for months.  I mean being on bed rest was no joke and I had plenty of time to think about the upcoming birth.   I had time to think about what life would be like after the babies where here.  Would I be sad?  Would I think life was different?  I guess those are the questions that I never thought about- because emotion is so hard to predict.  I didn't know if I would be happy or sad to see the babies leave.

Well, let me tell- I couldn't feel prouder!  What you say...prouder?!  Yea that is a new one for me too- I don't often like to say I am a proud person.  I try to live my life honest and as a good person and just feel like that's how people should be. Doing the right thing and being a good person isn't something to be proud of, its just who I am.  But I am proud.  I see pictures of those babies and my heart is proud.  Full of love and excitement.  I love that the little 5 and 6 pound babies I gave birth to are now over 10 pounds each and that they are healthy and happy and home with their family!

I love those babies- but I don't love them like they are my children.  I love them because I wanted them for their parents just as much as I wanted my own children for me.  I loved them for the 9 months they were in my belly.  I love them with a love that I can't explain.  Seeing their chubby little faces and hearing about how they are growing can brighten my worst day!  My heart is full- Full of love, and excitement and joy.  Being part of this journey has been one of the most amazing things I have done in my life and I wouldn't trade it for the world.


If I had to name this journey- I would call it "Labor of Love"!  Still sending milk to the babies and enjoying knowing that I helped bring those babies to life and dreams come true.